Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Keeping my character likable

My husband just finished reading the 1.5 st draft of my second novel, Judgment of Evil, which I was hoping to get published by the end of the week (I may still be waiting on my cover art, since I just sent my artist the check yesterday). After he finished, he wanted to talk to me about the edits he suggested, which was fine, I asked for that. Then he told my that my main character wasn't as likable as she was in the first book, Instrument of Evil. I asked him how she was less likable, and from what I understood, he wants her to be more emotional and introspective.
Of course, I like my character and her complicated side, so I have a hard time understanding what he wants. Yet he's my first reader and I have to pay attention. I'm just too close to the character to see if she's less likable. I have to try to step back and see the book I wrote differently, like I didn't write it. It's hard to be objective about your own work. But that is my task today, objectivity.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Art of Writing a Polite Book Review

So I'm reading this book that I'm supposed to review (actually, I am actively not reading it. I chose to fold laundry instead of read.), and I'm concerned about how to write the review. It's a trade situation, a I'll-read-your-book-and-review-it-if-you-do-the-same situation, so I have to phrase things delicately, I think. I have to damn it with faint praise. "The author really created some characters that stick out in my mind." = "I can't remember the characters' names."
"Full of dramatic tension, with high points on nearly every page." = "Pure melodrama, with extra exclamation points!" "Would benefit from professional editing to make it shine." = "It's not laughing STALK, it's laughing stock. The first makes me think of a mirthful piece of celery." "Loaded with political statements." = "Yada yada yada, more politics, yawn."

I'll have to try to finish the book to come up with enough sentences for a review. I want to throw the book, but I'm reading it on my iPad and that would be costly to replace.

Friday, November 18, 2011

This book I'm Writing

So, I'm writing this book, this story about a teen girl who is telepathic but doesn't know it, and thinks she crazy, until a new boy transfers to her school who is also telepathic, and fills her in on what's going on with her. It's all clean and innocent.

Problem is, I'm not having any fun writing it. I want to get back to my series, which takes off in a different direction after the first three books. I want to get back to my characters, who I know really well. And I like the idea I have for the story in the first book. So why not just go ahead and start writing it? One reason: I'm waiting to talk to a consultant about details for the book. I don't want to write a lot, then have to go back and change a bunch of stuff after I talk to the consultant. And I don't know when I'll be able to talk to the consultant--it depends on their very busy schedule. And I like to have my research done before I start writing.

Another reason: what do I do with the 16,000 words I've already written on the telepathic teen book? Do I make it into a long short story? Do I just put it aside and see what happens later, how I feel about it later? I think I'm going to have to put it aside for a while. I'm just not feeling it. I don't want to write 60,000+ words more about it.

Thanks for being her while I talked that out. I think I've made my decision. I don't think I'm meant to be a YA novelist.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

There is a high degree of crazy in my house right now

Oh, no, she's going to talk about her cats. Run!
We have four cats. One is our venerable old lady, who doesn't put up with nonsense from anyone, who sleeps and eats and periodically chases one of the other cats, in between naps.
We have a pair of sisters, who sometimes I think share one brain between them. One of them is a normal cat who likes to curl up in warms places and has an obsession with Chee-tos. (We've never given her a Chee-to, but she may have intercepted at least one that fell to the floor.) She also loves all dairy products, and I have caught her licking a stick of butter, and the lid to the sour cream. The other of the sisters is a total princess who frequently decides she's not eating dinner for no apparent reason, who doesn't like to be held unless she decides to sit in your lap, and who talks a lot. A lot. No idea what she's saying, but she says it with great urgency. She has the intense concentration of a border collie and is just a little bit high-strung.
And then there's Maggie, our 14 pound wrecking ball. She has earned the nickname "Destructo" from my husband because she is systematically peeling all the wallpaper from our bathroom walls. I hate the wallpaper, so I don't much mind that, but she does tend to break or knock over or otherwise demolish things. The vet put her on a diet. She's addicted to eating dry cat food and it makes her so happy that she purrs when she eats. It's very sad to take her food away, but I don't want a diabetic cat, so I do it. She sleeps on my legs at night. If I had to pick a cat I think would eventually need Prozac, it's this one. I think she has OCD.

This morning, the sisters had completely lost their minds, and were running as fast as they could around the den. We have this little tent for them, and it has two tunnels on either end of it. One of them kept racing into the tunnel, through the tent, out the other tunnel, and jumping into this architectural shelf that is by the fireplace. Then she would sit there looking crazy, before jumping down and doing it again. The other one was attempting to chase her. It was kind of hilarious. The old lady, meanwhile, was eating everybody's leftover breakfast. She doesn't participate in that kind of foolishness.

I try to write with all this nonsense going on. It's very distracting. So I usually end up on Twitter when it's crazy here, posting song lyrics or reminding people about my book.

About having four cats: we are not crazy cat people. We figure that there are two cats per person, which doesn't average out too badly. How we happened to wind up with four cats: We originally had two, Travis, the best cat in the world (TM), and the old lady. Travis had congenital heart disease, which we didn't find out about until he was about 13, when he got really sick. We took care of him with aggressive treatment, but he eventually passed away. When he did, our old lady got really lonely, and would cry at night, so we needed to get her a companion. When we went to the shelter, there was a pair of kittens that were adorable and friendly, and we didn't want to break them up. That gets us up to three cats. A year later, a friend told me about this kitten that had gotten into the undercarriage of her brother's trunk somehow, and taken a ride on the highway there. She was looking for a good home for this kitten because she couldn't keep her, and I obviously have "sucker" written all over my forehead, because I couldn't let a kitten that had survived a highway trip stuck in the underside of a truck go to a shelter. Enter cat number four. It all happened quite logically, but now the cats outnumber us, and I'm sure they are plotting something.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Men are more moral than they think and far more immoral than they can imagine. Sigmund Freud

Men are more moral than they think and far more immoral than they can imagine. Freud.

Freud seems to be saying here that most people think they are immoral to some degree, with the phrase "more moral than they think." Do you think that holds true? I know plenty of people who think they are highly moral, and probably are highly moral. Does this mean that they are even more moral than that? I think it applies to the rest of us, the ones that think we're bad in some way. I think even those that feel they are highly moral secretly feel as bad and immoral as everyone else. They just hide it better. I'm pretty honest with myself about my flaws and "badness," so by this quote, I must be more moral than I think.

I think the second part of the quote is the more interesting part, because as we all know, scandal sells. I don't want to hear about Lindsay Lohan successfully completely her community service; I want to hear about her going to jail. But are we far more immoral than we can imagine? I can imagine a lot, and did imagine a lot in my book series, Instrument of Evil, the upcoming Judgment of Evil, and the to-be-released in the future Redemption of Evil. I must be more immoral than that, by this quote. :) I'm actually a fairly moral person, and have a strong sense of right and wrong. Have I done things that were wrong? Most definitely. Could they have been worse? Absolutely. Do I believe the quote, that I could be far more immoral than I could imagine? I think I do. I think what Freud is saying here is that we are all innate savages, and in the right circumstances, we revert to that savage state, where right and wrong are mere illusion. You can see snippets of this on the television show Survivor, where the social facades start to chip away and a little bit of almost everyone's inner savage comes out to play. The players mostly have a very "moral" sense of how to play the game with integrity and no lies or backstabbing, until they are told or sense that they are going to be the next one "killed." Then that moral sense of team unity and integrity flies out the window as they scramble to make a deal with someone that saves their skin, to hell with the team. People start to learn on Survivor how immoral they can be--some already know it, but to some it comes as an unwelcome shock. That's why the game is such a fascinating psychological study. Forget the challenges, show me what people are willing to do to "survive."

Monday, November 14, 2011

On Writing

First, there's an idea. Just a little spark. A moment of "what if?"
For many people it ends there, because of demands of the outside world, loss of interest, fear. It's daunting to start writing. There you are, sitting with your blank paper or empty screen, trying to make something magical happen. You want to write the perfect book. And as long as you think that way, you'll never get started. Writing is messy, cluttered, sometimes random. You have to get this mess into a computer or a ream of paper so that you can begin the process of revising. This is where the real work is, where you take that mess that you made and turn it into a book. It's not as fun as writing, but it's just as important. Or even more important.

I make a lot of notes on a separate Word document when I write. It's full of good sentences that don't have a home yet, a few words to denote a scene I want to add, random ideas which may or may not get used. It's messy, and I have to scroll through it to find what I'm looking for, but it's a place to put what's in my head somewhere until I can attend to it fully. I don't worry about spelling, punctuation, or grammar in this document. If I didn't make this document, I would have a thousand post-it notes stuck all over the table, in a certain order, and color-coded. Which sounds a little like the opposite of my catch-all "Ideas" file. And I would probably spend more time organizing the post-it notes than writing, frankly.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


I have faith that readers will find my books. Meanwhile, I'll just keep writing more of them. Hopefully when some of my reviews come out, more people will be exposed to my book and want to give it a try. And then try the second one. And the third one. Right now I'm rarely getting blog post views. But they will come.
I think I might try doing a book review or two to try to get my name out there. So if you're an author who writes literary fiction, crime fiction, contemporary fiction, or paranormal fiction, drop me a note in the comments with your name, email, book title, and a 3-5 sentence blurb, and I'll see if it sounds like something that might interest me. No straight-up romance, overtly religious, or science fiction, please. I'll try this out and see how it goes, and whether it interferes with my writing too much.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I'm really excited about my new book!

I'm really excited about the book that I'm going to release soon, Judgment of Evil, which is the continuation of Rebekah's story from Instrument of Evil. It works as a stand-alone novel, so you don't have to have read the first book to enjoy it (but I'd love it if you would!). I'm also excited about the next novel I'm going to write, which will continue Rebekah's story. I'm working on a YA paranormal right now, while I research for the next Rebekah novel.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Another strange dream

So, I took a nap, and found myself having this dream. I am at a memorial service for a little girl who was abducted, and something honoring the military at the same time. I was sitting next to my mom at a seat at the corner of this large table. One of the military people wanted me to move and I said no. He then asked me if I was Jewish. Which made no sense. I replied that I wasn't, and he asked how come I didn't have any Jewish blood in me. I responded, "Because none of my ancestors fucked a Jew." This caused quite a commotion, and made the professional basketball team that had just entered the room start laughing uproariously.

I have no idea where these things come from.

Strange dream

Strange, but they usually are. My dreams are like surrealist movies.
The dream starts with me and a bunch of people I didn't know sitting around in a house talking. All of a sudden, one of them looks out the window and says that these people are shooting a sexually explicit video of a child outside. We all go outside to confront them. Two of the people run off, so we call the police. We take the child with us, who is a little girl around eight years old, and perform a citizen's arrest on the last pornographer. Who looks somewhat like John Lithgow. (I am in no way suggesting that John Lithgow is involved in child pornography.)

We take him into custody, and he is yelling things about his lawyers and we tell him we are not afraid of his lawyers. He keeps slipping away from us, because apparently we are the most bumbling group of citizen's arresters ever. At one point, John Lithgow slips away from us and goes to the food court that has opened up inside of the house, which is now the size of a mall. I intercept him at the food court and he is irritable, saying that he just wanted to buy a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel because he was starving. I let him buy the bagel but don't let him buy a coffee, which makes him curse at me. He comes with me back to the group, and we are sitting around impatiently because there is a concert we have tickets for that we want to go see, and we are afraid that the police will not come in time to pick up the last pornographer. The little girl has been adopted as a mascot, and seems surprisingly well adjusted and unharmed by the attempt to film her involved in explicit sexual acts. She is somewhat attached to John Lithgow so we try to keep them separated, which is partly why he keeps slipping off--we are using most of our resources to keep the little girl safe. I think of Nabokov's nymphets, because of how she is acting.

Then I was lying awake in my bed, wanting to go back to sleep to find out the outcome of the dream. If I had gone back to sleep, I mostly likely wouldn't have returned to the same dream, although sometimes I do.

Do you ever have lucid dreams? They are dreams that you are in, in which you know you are dreaming. You don't wake up, but keep dreaming, with full awareness that you are in a dream. I usually test to see if I am dreaming when having a lucid dream by trying to do something like dial or memorize a phone number, or do math. I can't process numbers in any way while I am dreaming. If I tried to read a phone number, I would probably be able to read the area code, and maybe the last few digits, but something would happen to prevent me from reading the digits in the middle of a number. In a lucid dream, you can "consciously" influence the course of the dream, so if you are having a bad dream, you can decide to stop having it, and have another dream instead. Or you can decide what you want to dream about. Lucid dreams are very cool. I have them all the time, and I have my numbers tests to verify if I am dreaming. Having lucid dreams is a skill you can learn, starting by developing some reality test that helps you know when you are dreaming. It's kind of like Inception.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Weird day--couldn't decide what to do

I finished writing my third novel on Monday. On Tuesday, I did a first-pass edit/rewrite of my second novel. So today I was trying to decide what to do--do the first-pass edit/rewrite of my third novel, relax and play on the internet, or start writing my 4th novel, which I have maybe half-way plotted out. I wound up going with the editing, because I felt like I should get this book tucked-in and ready for the next set of eyes. Whenever that happens. Because book 2, Judgment of Evil, just went to the next pair of eyes.
I'm not sure I didn't work on the next book instead. Maybe because I only have it half-way plotted? And my head is swirling with ideas for a sequel to my third book, so maybe that plays a part.
It's just strange. Usually my choice is "write."

Monday, November 7, 2011


I just finished my third novel today. I realized that I've written 3 books since July first. That is craziness! And people who've read the first one, Instrument of Evil, have liked it. I know it's not for everybody, being about a serial killer, but it's a pretty lighthearted look at a serial killer.
This third book tortured me. But I like what I've created, and I think my readers will too.
I start editing/rewriting the second book, Judgment of Evil, tomorrow. Several people have asked me when it's coming out. So I've got to get it out there for those people. :)

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Writer's Block

Yes, the dreaded writer's block has befallen me. It sucks. I'm working on the third book of my Evil trilogy, and I'm stuck. I know how it ends, and I have my pre-written rough sketch written. I'm mostly satisfied with the first twenty pages. I know some of the parts in the middle. I know the arc that gets my character, Rebekah, to the final situation. But there's all this other stuff that needs to be in the book, and I don't know what it is. Did I say that this sucks? I'm going to have to get out index cards, I think, and write a scene summary on each card, put them in order, and see what I have. And then make new scenes and put them in order. Just writing about writer's block has made me think of two scenes for the book. And then I went away and roughly outlined the rest of the book. Maybe I'm not so blocked after all.

Instrument of Evil Website

The Instrument of Evil official website, www.instrumentofevil.com , has been live for a few days now. Please check it out. My talented husband designed it and made it. It has links so you can click to the Amazon Kindle page, the Amazon softcover page, and the Barnes and Noble Nook page,
as well as an author bio.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

When considering knives...

You have to make sure they're sharp, obviously. Definitely need them to be sharp. You want to make sure the handle fits in your hand nicely, and is not uncomfortable. You want it to be long enough to do the job--there's nothing worse than a too-short knife. It's good if it has a sheath, so you don't cut yourself on it. You also want to make sure the weight of the knife is appropriate for you. You may choose a particular decorative handle, if you'd like, but remember to clean all of the decorative surfaces. It's best to go to a kitchen store or a hunting goods store (depending on your purpose), where you can try the knives out. In a pinch you can order some pretty good knives from Amazon.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

How to buy and set a good bear trap

So you need to catch a bear or other large animal, and you're not quite sure what to do? The best way to do this is to use a bear trap, which will immobilize the animal until you can get back to it.
1. Look for bear traps at sporting goods stores, on eBay, and at Amazon (yes, Amazon sells bear traps). You want a #16 size trap.
2.Order it, being prepared to pay extra for shipping. A decent bear trap will be in the area of 40 lb.
3. Lug the trap to the place where you have the bear (or other large animal) infestation.
4. Set the trap according to the manufacturer's specifications. Don't have the directions? You want to make sure the jaws (with teeth) are open, and nothing is on the springs.
5. There's a trigger pad in the center of the open jaw. That where the bear will step to trigger the trap.
6. Do not put your hand inside the trap or touch the trigger.
7. Cover the trap with some leaves to make it blend in to its surroundings.
8. You might put something to lure the bear (or other animal) such as honey, apples, twenty dollar bills.
9. Leave.
10 Come back in a few days, to see if you've caught anything.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Let me introduce myself. I am Lori Lowthert, author of Instrument of Evil, my first novel, and creator of the bad-ass Rebekah Johnson. She's a rarity in this world, a female serial killer. She tries several different methods of killing in Instrument of Evil. However, for the first time in her life, she loves someone, her boyfriend, Scott. She has a dilemma--should she break things off with Scott, leaving him none the wiser about her secret life, or should she try to stop killing? The book details her essentially normal childhood, her behavior outwardly perfect, but already the secrets have started. She kills her first victim when she is 20 years old, a college junior. She starts with more tentative methods, but gradually grows bolder. By the end of the book, she is a  full-fledged killer trying to balance life in both her worlds.
I got the idea for the book when I was talking with someone about all the different ways you could kill someone, and decided I would create a female character to do these things. I think if you like the Showtime series Dexter, you might like my book.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Promoting Books

This is something I had never thought about that much. I knew my friends and family would (most likely) buy my books. At least most of my friends and family would. Then in my fantasy somehow other people would find my book, and sales would go up based on word of mouth. That still may happen--I haven't ruled it out yet, as my book has only been available for purchase on Amazon Kindle for about a day and a half. But I have to self promote, and I'd really rather be writing the third book in the trilogy. I'm tweeting every hour or so, trying to get as many eyes on my title and link as possible, in the hopes that someone will give Instrument of Evil a chance. I've signed up with Kindlefinds and Indie Kindle, to get some promotion that way. (Those are great sites, by the way--you can find out about all sorts of Indie books that are out there). I have a Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/#!/InstrumentofEvil, which has gotten a few likes, again mostly from friends and family. The book is available here
I'm thinking of taking out a few ads on popular blogs. I've been trying to figure out how to get on the early morning news (I figure I have a better shot at early morning). I'm trying to figure out what to do to make a good YouTube video to support my book. Anyone have any promotion tips they found useful?

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Instrument of Evil

Instrument of Evil is now available for purchase in the Amazon Kindle store!


Get your copy now and read about the killings. And the relationship.

Friday, October 7, 2011

After everything

I was never really sure what I was waiting for
When the moment came I was looking away
Obsessed with a past, scared of the future
Never took the time to be here today

The Church

Thursday, October 6, 2011

How to pick a good therapist

Hi all. I'm in this court-ordered psychotherapy, so this doesn't really apply to me, but since I'm a graduate student in Psychology, I thought I might have something useful to say.
1. Get recommendations. Ask friends, your medical doctor, coworkers (if you dare), other students, and other therapists. It's better than picking one out of the phonebook or off the web, or out of your insurance plan's list. A therapist that other people like is a good recommendation. And say you call a therapist, and they're not taking new patients? Ask them for a list of other therapists they recommend. Likely those will be good ones.

2. Try to figure out what kind of therapy you want. Are you a practical, let's get to the heart of things kind of person? Then Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) might be for you. Is your life really out of control, with lots of mood swings and instability? Then Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) might be a good choice. Want the "traditional" kind of therapy? Then Psychodynamic Psychotherapy is for you. Want to spend years in therapy, going over your every thought? Psychoanalysis (the kind of therapy where you lie on the couch) might just be your speed.

3. Money. You've got to be able to pay for it. Some therapists take insurance, but many good therapists don't take insurance and you've got to pay out of pocket. You can often get your insurance company to reimburse you part of the costs if you fill out some claim forms. A good therapist is going to be expensive, ranging from $150 to $400 an hour, depending on where you live. Some therapists will accept a sliding scale payment system, where you pay less if you make less money. It never hurts to ask.

4. Do you like them? You get to the first appointment, and there's something about the therapist you don't like. Go with that feeling. You might give them one more chance, to see if it was a one-time thing, but generally you should like your therapist at the first meeting. Or at the least, feel neutral about them. But if you don't like them, odds are that's not going to go away, and it can make your therapy unpleasant.

5.Tell the truth. Don't be concerned that your problems are too trivial for you to be in therapy, or that your problems are too weird, or that you're a hopeless case. Tell the therapist about the problems you want to work on, and even tell them that you think it's trivial, strange, or hopeless. The therapist has most likely heard it before, or something like it. This way they know what your feelings are about your problems, and can more easily work with you.

6. MSW, MFT, Ph.D, Psy.D, MD? If you need medication, or think you need medication, go to an MD, a psychiatrist. Only psychiatrists can prescribe medication. If you think you just need therapy, a social worker (MSW, LCSW), marriage and family therapist (MFT), or psychologist (PhD, PsyD) would all be good for therapy. Don't worry if you start therapy with one of these therapists, and you decide you need medication--most of them will be able to recommend a psychiatrist or two for you. Again, go with someone you like, and feel like you can work with. If that's an LCSW, fine. The important thing in therapy is the relationship you have with your therapist, not their credentials.

7. That being said, be wary of someone who calls themselves a "therapist," without having any of the above credentials. In some states, anyone can call themselves a therapist, and there's no regulation of them. One so-called "therapist" around here insisted on conducting his therapy sessions in a general's uniform, among other things.

That's all I can think of right now. If I come up with anything else, I'll add it in the comments.

Instrument of Evil

Instrument of Evil is the story of a basically normal 21 year old woman who has an unusual hobby. She's realized that she's a fledgling serial killer, and sets off on a life of crime, starting with easy targets, then moving on to harder ones. In the midst of this she meets a guy, and she likes him, more than any guy she has ever liked. She knows she should break the relationship off before he gets hurt (or reports her to the police), but she just can't do it. She realizes that she's in love for the first time of her life. The guy has a few secrets of his own, however, but she doesn't know that yet. It's a girl, a boy, and some murders. How do you keep love alive when you're an active serial killer?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Learning a Lot

I'm really learning a lot these days. One of the things I've learned is that my writer has a lot to say. Well, I have news for you, writer, as your character I have a lot to say too. Like how annoying it is to get blood out of clothes. Or things I'm learning in my Psychology studies about deviant personalities. Or that my significant other seems to have a lot of secrets. I'm the only one who's supposed to have lots of secrets. I know not to tell mine, though. Except that I did tell a lot of them in Instrument of Evil. And listen, writer, when are you going to publish the damn thing? I keep hearing soon, soon.
(Author's note: the book is coming out next week on Amazon.)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Twitter is like crack.

I'm supposed to be writing right now. Not blogging, not checking Twitter. But here I am, "wasting" time. But since I want to network with other writers (okay, fine, my creator wants to network with other writers. I'll just continue being a character. I myself want to network with other serial killers.)
Ahem. Back to Twitter is like crack. I'll be writing away, then I'll see the tab saying there are ten posts, and I have to stop and see what they are. Like crack, I tell you!

Rejected and Dejected

So, on a whim, I applied for a part-time job at Target, thinking I could earn a little extra money for the holidays. I just got email from them that they turned me down. I have a college degree and am in graduate school. I would think that I could be a valuable asset to them. But no. It's a harsh job market out there, but I don't have to tell you guys that.

What Are the Odds?

I'm starting out this new blog, and I know there are thousands of blogs out there. What are the odds this one will get noticed? I can be funny, and I've got lots of good stories to tell. I told a lot of them in my book that's coming out soon, Instrument of Evil. Hence the blog title. And what is the instrument of evil, you might be asking? I'm pretty sure it's the saxophone. Have you noticed this resurgence of saxophone in current indie rock? I don't know if it's supposed to be ironic, or what. 

Actually, the instrument of evil isn't the saxophone (but I think it runs a close second), but I'm going to hold off telling you what it is just yet. A girl has got to have her secrets. I have more than others.